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An Introduction to Non Violent Communication (Compassionate Communication)

Submitted by on March 15, 2011 – 6:55 pm

By Susie Spiller

I value wellbeing above all else. This involves communication – being heard and listening to the intention behind words, without hearing criticism and blame.  I am blessed to live in an eco village, which means I have an exceptionally large family. I need to do two things to stay sane, never mind well. One is assuming good intent in all that cross my path. The other is communicating effectively. I learnt early on to seek approval externally, firstly  from my mother and father and then anyone else who could offer me the reassurance that I was on the right track. This approval seeking was encouraged by a hierarchical education system with its challenges of competition and judgement. I believe the tides are finally turning from external approval, to selfdirected choice, not from duty or obligation. It is my firm belief that if we are to rub along together on this planet, learning to see the intentions behinds actions is an integral part of the health of ourselves and, in turn, our communities.

This is how Rumi put it. “Beyond right and wrong there is a field, I will meet you there.” Rumi

Fortunately there is a field globally, known as Non Violent Communication. In a two day foundation training you can begin the journey. Practice groups (free of charge) enable whoever is curious to learn to listen without blame to transform  hard to hear messages. This in-turn creates understanding and connection, both, in my humble opinion, key ingredients to the survival of our species.

NVC or Non Violent Communication is a global initiative with the key intention to support and increase wellbeing.the following are ingredients of this approach.

* 2 Frames: Engaging with an intention to establish a quality of connection that leads to everyones needs being met peacefully ; bringing attention into the present .
* 3 modes: Connecting with myself, receiving others, expressing myself.
* 4 Ingredients: Focusing on observations, feelings, needs and requests

More coming soon …

Susie Spiller

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