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People often ask me about mindset and my philosophy. They ask me about what it takes to be successful in their endeavours. Over the next few blogs I will share a few secrets with you that help keep me on track and inspire me when things are tough.

I apologise if you are offended by swearing. I wouldn’t usually swear in a blog but it is a direct quote and it is a quote which inspires me. You can continue reading to find the source of my motivation or you can choose to go and read something else.

Tip #1 Be selective about who you listen to, very selective!

It doesn’t matter what you do, you will be judged. Every person you come in contact with (and some you won’t come in contact with!) will have opinions and judgements on who you are and what you should do. Whether you have passed or failed, won or lost, are rich or poor, loud or quiet, tall or short, smart or dumb, positive or negative, people will form an opinion. If you have done things this way or that, logically or otherwise people will judge you and your actions.

This can be very disheartening and off-putting especially if you are feeling a little vulnerable when your dream project is struggling to work, or if you are trying something new or wonderfully massive and scary.

I have found that the most off-putting are people who really care about me but who couldn’t understand why I would take risks when I could be stable and normal like everyone else…

“Serena you shouldn’t quit your job, it’s a good job”

“But I don’t want a job; I want to try my hand at business”

“But it’s a good job, and it is good money”

“Yes I understand that it’s a good job with good money but it’s not what I want to do, I want to see if I do something more fulfilling”

“BUT IT’S A GOOD JOB!! You are CRAZY to quit your job!”

The more different you are and the more outrageous your goal, the more you will be hit with a continuous ‘noise’ of opinions, judgements, advice and best intentions on what you should do.

Over time I have developed very selective hearing to deal with the ‘noise’. This selective hearing allows me to listen to people who have good ideas, new opportunities or who support my efforts and it also allows me to smile and nod to all the people with superfluous ‘noise’.

This took me some time to develop as I had to release the idea that my closest friends and relatives should support me and understand me. I now accept that many people I know and love do not understand or care about what I am doing but I enjoy their company for other lovely reasons! I do have 2 or 3 people who I go to any time I am lacking in confidence, positivity or motivation in the knowledge that they believe in me, and support me in all of my endeavours.

I am lucky enough to have one of those people be my husband, John, who, when I came to him once in a moment of quashed confidence, quoted Irish poet, writer and novelist Brendan Behan. He said “F**k the begrudgers!”

These three words gave me a massive sense of confidence and freedom and are now one of my tools for self motivation. As long as I am on the path to achieving the goals I have set for myself I will not care how I am perceived.

If you find yourself going for some great goal when people unwittingly take the time to dissuade you, take a few moments and say to yourself: “fuck the begrudgers!” You will feel a surge of self-confidence… I promise!

Stay tuned for Tip #2 Being Generous ! : )

About Serena Star-Leonard:

I have always had a healthy belief that if you really want to do what you love for a living you can find a way to make it work for you (and done right make it work really well for you!). My coaching practice is designed to guide people who understand that there is something more to life than working 9-5 and who are driven to do something about it.
Recently I noticed that many people were trying to use the internet to create alternate sources of income but made the same costly mistakes time and time again. So much so that I partnered up and created Grassroots Internet Strategy, a small business resource that helps people understand what they really need to know and plan for.
If you have a burning desire to either start or expand I would love to hear from you…