By Ra Savage

Sexual abuse is not happy. Most of the effects one suffers from being abused are not happy.
But, coming through the other side of all the crap and suddenly realising you’ve gained a
plethora of strengths and positive characteristics you may not have otherwise developed?
Now, that’s pretty damn happy.

I’ve only recently ‘come through the other side’, and the overwhelming sense of relief and
joy and simple peaceful happiness I have been feeling is so mammoth I realized I wanted desperately to help other ‘survivors’ of sexual abuse to get to a similar place…and preferably without the years of struggling I had to crawl through to get here.

So I thought if I could create a place for women to talk, vent, explore, laugh and heal then that would be amazing.

That’s how i am still here began…a website to explore what it means to live with the effects of sexual abuse, with a focus on healing and an appreciation of the potentially positive side of things.

i am still here is a place for me to ponder the incredible ways the human mind and body cope with trauma, and the positive follow on effects of these coping mechanisms. Just a few of the taonga I have gained are; wisdom (from having made so very many mistakes), empathy (from having wrestled with depression and self-esteem for over ten years), emotional strength (from having battled overwhelming emotions), and the capacity to love more than I ever imagined possible (from trying to make up for years of isolating myself from friends and family for supposed self protection).

i am still here is also a place to discuss and explore more positive ways of moving toward greater healing and wellbeing. Looking back on my own experiences, I realize that nestled amongst my vast collection of coping mechanisms are positives I have always used when depression threatened.

Getting out in nature in any way possible always made me feel better – jumping in the ocean…trekking up a bushtrack and running back down…climbing a massive tree and hiding in the branches…usually the worse the weather the better I felt!

Writing all my thoughts down, making poetry, writing letters that weren’t meant to be sent…it didn’t matter if they were good or mediocre or just downright awful….as long as I got it out of my head.

And any kind of hard physical labour…mowing the lawn, chopping wood, digging a hole…anything that got my heart pounding and made me feel strong.

My aim for i am still here is for it to become a comprehensive resource where others can quickly and easily find help, a thriving community of survivors who feel free to discuss how they are dealing with their effects, and a place we can help each other to heal through sharing.

And most importantly, I want i am still here to encourage others to start talking about the abuse, to bring it out in the open so we can stop feeling ashamed of something we didn’t do, and to start feeling proud of how strong and resourceful and amazing we are in coping with
what has happened to us, and finding the beauty in every part of our lives.

www.iamstillhere.co.nz

“It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness.”
Chinese proverb

Tags: self-belief