SOLD: Beautiful Happyzine

By Tami Wyness

Some days, like today, I asked where I could hand in my resignation.  I wanted to step down as mother in the department of motherhood please.  I was beyond tired and ultimately felt tethered.  In fact, I think sleep deprivation rendered me temporarily insane.  Struggling with the post natal experience and coming to terms with some major personal changes in life circumstance, I earnestly asked today who I could make the resignation letter out to.  It was one of those days where there were tears, snotty noses and tantrums; and that wasn’t just my 15 month old daughter.  One of those days when the pot burns on the stove, my jeans no longer fit my tummy and there was an accidental injury.

This, I wonder, is the stuff of parenthood?  Is this type of day perhaps what grows us into stronger, capable and more compassionate people and parents?  To look deep into our child’s eyes as they scream angrily to the world and give them love and compassion even when we want to run away screaming ourselves; to see our reflection in them and remember to give ourselves the same?

I had a friend who used to say that we can push the ‘reset’ button at any time during the day and start over.  I like that.  The idea that at any point we can choose to act, think or be different to change the downward spiral of the day.  What worked for me today was continually attempting to do just that; to break the negative energy flow.

Sometimes, I find, the smallest thing can begin me down a new path with a new vibration and a new sense of the day.  That small incremental change in the direction things are going can make a massive difference.

Stepping out of the house and into the sunshine and walking around the garden with our shoes and socks off was one break in the day.  Playing music and hopping around like a rabbit singing was another.  Getting into a bubble bath helped curb the evening tears.  What I notice as I reflect on the day that the things that broke the tension energy were things outside of my brain, “we are not just our minds; we are our bodies too” a friend reminded me.  Dropping into the sensory experience of the world where there are colours, textures, temperatures, tastes and aromas brought me out of thought and actually into the world.  I arrived in the day, and my daughter responded to my presence.

In the midst of what seemed to be the daily grind of mothering, I was reminded today of the importance of just being.  Being present; being all of me in mind and body and allowing my daughter to be the same.  Being in the moment and holding the space for us both to grow.  I will most likely forget to be in the moment, maybe tomorrow, maybe next  week; but I also know that reset button is within reach when I remember it’s there.

Tags: gentle parenting